Christmas Shopping According to Crystal (With The Unwelcome Input of Grace)

Disclaimer: This post is written satirically and Crystal’s advice should most definitely NOT be taken – that is, when it comes to Christmas shopping. 

Crystal: Why hello, people of the universe! It is I, Crystal, here to grace your presence-

Grace: Did you say Grace and presents?

Crystal: No, Grace! Now, go away! I’m doing a blog post here!

Grace: *sighs* Fine.

Crystal: Now, where was I? Oh yes, today I’m here to give you a few tips on Christmas shopping. As we all know, the holidays are all about shopping – I mean, what else would they be about? If you’re not planning on spending all your money on yourself at Bath and Body Works-

Grace: *cough* Crystal *cough cough*

Crystal: GRACE!

Grace: Sorry!

Crystal: *sighs* As I was saying, if you’re not going to spend all of your money on yourself, Christmas shopping for others is such a fun thing to do. And when you have eight sisters, they all want presents, for some weird reason.

For your best and most favorite sister – that would be Tessa, in my case – some nice jewelry or a fancy scarf should do the trick. If you have any doubts, follow this helpful tip:

Tip #1: When in doubt, buy the most expensive pair on the rack. 

Expensive clothes always impress girls, whether you’re a guy shopping for you girlfriend or a girl shopping for her sister. Expensive=meaningful!

Grace: That would explain your Tiffany addiction.

Crystal: ARGH, GRACE! GET OUT OF HERE – RIGHT NOW!

Anyway, let’s move on.

When you’re shopping for your least favorite sister – that would be Lindsey, due to some unfortunate shoe-burning – don’t be afraid to give her ketchup packets or pencil stubs.

Tip #2: When in doubt, wrap anything you find lying around your room.

Next up – shopping for your parents/person who writes blog posts about you. Put some thought into this gift – after all, this is the person who spends hours photographing you, writing up cute posts, and then gaining a ton of followers because she did a nice job on your hair – oh yeah, and because AG bloggers are super nice people.

Tip #3: It’s totally okay to copy present ideas! The original person won’t mind, usually.

And, last but not least, shopping for that special someone.

Basically, there’s only one piece of advice I can give you –

Tip #4: Boys are impossible to shop for. Just go to your nearest Safeway and grab any old hoodie off the rack. Since boys don’t care about clothes, it doesn’t matter what it looks like. Hey, it’s the thought that counts, right?

And that’s all the time we have for today! I hope this post was helpful and inspiring. May you all have long lives and wear fashionable clothes!

By the way, don’t you just loveeeeee my hair? AGsinAlaska did it, with the assistance of some sparkly twinkle lights! #ThisIsHowISparkle

Grace: Is there no end to your vanity, Crystal?

Crystal: GRACEEEEE!!!!!!!!

TTFN!

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Back-To-School According to Crystal

Hello, lovlies! It’s your favorite doll here to give you some amazing back-to-school advice. Whether you’re going into high school, middle school, or you’re still in elementary, read on to learn everything you need to know for tackling the upcoming school year. Why do I sound like a YouTube video?!?!

Tip #1: Approach school with a good attitude. Having a bad attitude, or being in a negative mindset, will definitely NOT help you. Imagine the best – all the new friends you’ll make, the new stuff you’ll learn, etc., instead.

Tip #2: Smile. Smile at everyone. The nice kids, the mean kids, the good teachers, the cranky teachers. Even smiling when nothing’s funny will dramatically improve your attitude! Try it. You’d be surprised.

Tip #3: Challenge yourself. Try a new club, take an advanced/Honors class (if you qualify, of course). Do a team sport, like tennis, XC running, or skiing. Or just challenge yourself to get A’s on your tests or meet a new person every day.

Tip #4: Power through your homework. Sometimes, you’ll feel really bogged down with homework – especially if you get something to do from EVERY. SINGLE. TEACHER. When you get home, eat a nourishing snack and take a 15-minute walk before tackling your homework. Every thirty minutes, take a five-minute break and do something productive – switch the laundry, speed-clean the coffee table, or make your bed. Then get right back to work.

Tip #5: Breathe. This tip is great when you’re taking a big test. Don’t freak out. Visualize yourself in your happy place, and take a few deep breaths. You’ve got this!

I hope my tips help you this year!

Are you excited for school? What is your favorite class? When do you start (if you haven’t already)?