This post is going to be amazingly awesomely hilarious!!!
It’s featuring my brother! My two-years-younger, adventurous, trouble-making brother.
This post was inspired by Sam and Loren and Micah (on YouTube). Thanks, guys!
Here we go!!!!
Me: Okay, so, um . . . how many dolls do I have?
Me: No, I don’t have nine dolls.
Me: You need to guess again.
Me: Yes! Okay, who was my first doll?
Me: And who was my most recent doll?
Me: Ye- wow, you got it right.
Brother: I named her.
Me: You did not name her!
Brother: It was my idea.
Me: It was not your idea. It was your idea to name her after someone from the Michael Vey books. You wanted me to name her Tara!
Brother: And then I said, “How about Tessa?” And you said, “I like Tessa. That works.”
Me: *dramatic pause* That is not what I said. Okay, whatever. Uh, moving on . . . So, what do you think about the new Girl of The Year?
Brother: I don’t know.
Me: You don’t know? What do you think about a doll who likes science?
Brother: That’s . . . awesome.
Me: Do you like science?
Brother: *blah blah blah blah blah ridiculous nonsense I will not write here*
Me: *yells brother’s name here* I can’t put that on my blog! Okay, come up with appropriate responses to these questions. Okay . . . how long have I been doing blogging?
Brother: Two years.
Me: No, my doll blog.
Brother: Okay, one year.
Me: No, less time than that.
Brother: Like, eight months?
Me: Yes, six months! Do you read my blog?
Brother: I scroll through it to support you.
Me: Oh, to support me. That’s sweet of you. (Note the sarcasm here.) Which one of my dolls likes gymnastics?
Me: Okay, um . . .
Brother: The only reasons I know these questions people is because she’s constantly blabbering about them.
Me: *Another dramatic pause* Seriously?
Me: *loud sigh* Okay, hey, hey, you get back here. I’m not done. Let me think. Um, which doll of mine is the one who has red hair?
Me: Nooooo, her hair is brown!
Brother: Um, it is . . . I don’t know.
Me: It’s Emily. Okay, how many times have we been to the AG Store Los Angeles?
Brother: Four times.
Me: Four times? That’s close.
Me: Yes, three. Let’s see . . . how many of my dolls have their ears pierced?
Brother: I don’t know.
Me: Four. Okay, now I’m going to move onto some questions about . . . like, American Girl in general. Who is the current girl of the year? (This was back in 2017.) Not the one that’s about to come out, the current one.
Brother: It is . . . I know it . . . um, um, Lea.
Me: No, that was last year.
Brother: I don’t know.
Me: It’s Gabriela. Let’s see . . . you won’t know that . . .
Brother: No, tell me.
Me: Okay, fine. What was the original American Girl name?
Brother: You told me this one time.
Me: I did?
Me: You won’t remember. Okay, let’s see . . .
Brother: What was it called????
Me: Pleasant Company. I’ll be right back . . .
Brother: The what now?
Me: Pleasant Company. (Runs to room, returns with AG magazine). Okay, so what is this one called? (Points to doll.)
Brother: That is . . . the one from 1924, or something. Molly.
Me: That’s not Molly, Molly’s from the 40s, and no, this is Samantha, she’s from, like, 1904 or something.
Brother: See, I was on the right track. That was the one I was thinking of.
Me: How old was I when I got Crystal – wait, I can’t put that on my blog.
Me: They can’t know how old I am! Yet – maybe later. In the future. Okay, just look at this picture, not the words. Which doll is this?
Brother: The one who likes basketball. Jessie.
Me: No – wait, Jessie? Her name is Julie! That’s pretty close. Yeah, she does like basketball.
Brother: She wanted to be president. In the movie. (He’s talking about the short film AG made about Julie, if you haven’t seen it, it’s on their website.)
Me: Do I have this doll?
Brother: Yeah, you have Kit, but its name is Lindsey.
Me: Yes. But it’s not an “it,” its a “she.” What year was Grace Girl of The Year?
Brother: It was three years ago . . . wait . . . it’s 2017 this year, right?
Brother: But it’s going to be 2018 in a few days, right?
Me: No, in like 11 hours.
Brother: Okay, so three years ago it was . . . 2015!
Me: Now, is there anything you would like to tell my wonderful league of followers about dolls, or yourself?
Me: Hello? We have dead air here!
Brother: (Says something I shall not write here.)
Me: Okay, we’re done here. Say bye.
Brother: (Says another thing I shall not write here.)
So . . . that went differently than I expected. But I hope you enjoyed it anyway! See you guys on Thursday!